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Monday, December 30, 2019

16 Different Types Of People You See In Yoruba Churches

1. BABY CARRIERS
These ones won't even let nursing mothers get a sit in the church before they stretch forth their arms to carry their baby.
They don't mind standing at the back throuout the service.
They hardly listen to sermon or participate in the service as they're busy playing with baby

2. The weekly Thanksgivers
These ones will always have something to say every Sunday.
Ranging from escaping accident, recovering from sickness, celebrating the 50years demise of their late Grandfather and how God has been keeping them alive since then and so on. They can even thank God for buying a new clothes. They always shout 21 hallelujahs

3. The Bible Readers
These ones are faster than the person in charge of projector.
It's like the Preacher has given them the text before mounting the pulpit.
Pastor: e si iwe Mathew, Chapter 20... Verse
Bible Reader: Jesu si wipe , emi ni ona tooto (Jesus said, I am the truth...)
As in, let the pastor say the verse first na

4. The First Timer Welcomers
These people will always stand up to shake First Timers.
"You are welcome into the city of joy, we are always happy people, yes we love you, you are welcome"
But once they get home, they turn to Mike Tyson. They can fight their neighbors and abuse the relatives of their inlaw.

5. THE LATE COMERS
Put the service at 7am, they will come late.
Put it 10am, they will still come late.
They're fond of doing nothing in the church, just mere bench warmers.

6. The ones that get into the Spirit
Any small thing, they begin to speak in tongue. They'll split service into two as they continue to say some heavenly words and roll on the floor.
Some will realize the injuries on their body when they finally come back to their senses.

7. The Side -Talkers
Pls avoid these people during service.
From Sports to Buhari to APC to Kidnapping to.... They won't stop talking.
These people won't let you concentrate during service as they will surely have something to Gist you.
They're the one that will notice Mummy Jummy's Zip has worn out ☹

8. THE SLEEPERS
Even if you remove all the chairs in church, these people will still sleep while standing.
They're always being asked to Stand Up during service in local churches, while Ushers will tap them with Pen in Big Churches.
They are always active during Praise and Worship, but thereafter, Awo lo.

9. The ones that will add a story to Pastor's explanation
Set awon D.O Fagunwa. They will surely have a story of how a young man ate beans and turned to a Goat to back up Pastor's illustrations of a Bible text.
You will see them during Sunday School lessons and Bible Studies.

 10. The Material Donors
On behalf of me and my family, we present this Brand new Generator.
Their name is virtually on all gadgets in the church, especially in the Choir department.

11. The First to be in Church
These ones are always the first set of people to get to the church. They are not Ushers, but they will clean everywhere before the arrival of other Church members.
They've taken it as their responsibility to take care of the Church and its surroundings.

 12. The Cash Donors
These ones ehn 😔
"They are good outside, but very bad inside "
They are always fond of being the Chairman of Harvest, Chairman of Men anniversary, Chairman of Pastor's Birthday celebration.
During rivivals, they will be the first person to come out when the evangelist is asking for someone that can donate N 100, 000 for God's work.

 13. The ones who have Calls to Pick during Offering time
Hmmmm. These people ehn, they can't make heaven.
They aways have Calls to Pick or to Make when it's time for Offering.
They'll now walk out and later walk in when they're praying over the offering.
Some will act like they need to correct their belt or use the Restroom. ☹

14. The ones that love carrying offering basket for someone else
They are not the Celebrant o, but na dem go carry Tray dance round the church.
Set awon Teni "Uyo Meyo".
They often make mistakes of hitting Church members' head with the tray due to their impatience and over "too show".

 15. The Holy Communion Faithfuls
These ones will bow their head and continue to cry during Holy Communion.
They are always in sober mood, like the Holy Communion is taking them to heaven straight.

16. The Historian and Assembly Pastor Tormentors
This association of Elders have been in the church since they laid its foundation. All assembly Pastors must be loyal to them if not the Pastor will surfer and be frustrated till he packs his bags and leave.
They normally live a very wayward life. They can drink to stupor and they normally have more than a wife. 😒

Temitope O. Eyinla EXQ
©2019

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